Breaking Barriers: The Struggle of Making Genuine Change
- Dr. Don Schweitzer, PhD, LMSW
- Mar 13, 2024
- 3 min read
Change is inevitable, yet it's one of the hardest things for us to embrace. Whether it's changing habits, perspectives, or circumstances, the journey towards transformation is often marked by resistance, uncertainty, and discomfort. However, it's also a gateway to growth, progress, and fulfillment.
But why is change so hard?
Comfort and familiarity: Humans are creatures of habit, and we often find comfort in routines and familiarity. Change disrupts these patterns, forcing us to confront the unknown and venture into uncharted territory. This departure from the familiar can trigger feelings of anxiety, uncertainty, and resistance.

Fear of the unknown: The unknown holds a sense of unpredictability and ambiguity that can be daunting. Our innate fear of uncertainty often leads us to cling to what's familiar, even if it no longer serves us. Stepping into the unknown requires courage and a willingness to embrace uncertainty, which can be intimidating for many.
Cognitive biases: Our brains are wired to resist change due to various cognitive biases, such as the status quo bias and loss aversion. These biases cause us to perceive change as a threat to our sense of security and stability, leading to resistance and reluctance to embrace new possibilities.
Psychological barriers: Change often triggers deep-seated psychological barriers, such as fear of failure, self-doubt, and limiting beliefs. These internal barriers can sabotage our efforts towards change, making it difficult to break free from old habits and patterns of behavior.
External influences: External factors such as societal norms, peer pressure, and cultural expectations can also influence our ability to change. These external influences may reinforce existing patterns or discourage deviation from the norm, making it challenging to pursue personal growth and transformation.
Despite these obstacles, it's essential to remember that change is not only possible but also necessary for growth and fulfillment. By understanding why change is hard and actively addressing these challenges, we can better navigate the journey of transformation and create the change we need in our lives.
Here are some ideas and tips to help you become better at creating the change you desire:
Embrace the discomfort: Change often brings discomfort, as it challenges our familiarity and comfort zones. Instead of avoiding or resisting this discomfort, embrace it as a sign of growth. Understand that stepping outside of your comfort zone is where real change happens.
Set clear goals: Define what change looks like for you. Whether it's breaking a bad habit, pursuing a new career path, or improving relationships, setting clear and specific goals provides direction and motivation. Break down your goals into smaller, actionable steps to make them more manageable.
Cultivate self-awareness: Reflect on your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors to understand what drives them. Identify any limiting beliefs or fears that may be holding you back from making the changes you desire. By becoming more self-aware, you can recognize patterns and make conscious choices that align with your goals.
Create a supportive environment: Surround yourself with people who support and encourage your growth. Share your goals with friends, family, or mentors who can offer guidance and accountability. Additionally, seek out resources such as books, podcasts, or workshops that inspire and empower you to make positive changes.
Practice resilience: Understand that setbacks and challenges are inevitable on the journey towards change. Instead of viewing them as failures, see them as opportunities for learning and growth. Cultivate resilience by developing coping strategies, maintaining a positive mindset, and staying committed to your goals despite obstacles.
Take consistent action: Change requires consistent effort and action over time. Make a commitment to take small, incremental steps towards your goals every day. Celebrate your progress along the way, no matter how small, and stay focused on the bigger picture.
Be patient and compassionate: Change doesn't happen overnight, and it's important to be patient with yourself throughout the process. Practice self-compassion and kindness, especially during times of struggle or setbacks. Remember that change is a journey, and every step forward is a step closer to realizing your goals.
Creating change is undoubtedly challenging, but it's also incredibly rewarding. By embracing the discomfort comes with it, you can become better at creating the change you want in your life.
Photo by Imad Clicks: https://www.pexels.com/photo/photo-of-yellow-leaves-falling-on-a-man-10312600/
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