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Without Purpose, We Struggle

Dr. Don Schweitzer, PhD, LMSW
2 days ago
6 min read

Many people I work with aren’t struggling because they’re broken—they’re struggling because they haven’t found a sense of purpose to guide them. Without it, life can start to feel flat, overwhelming, or directionless. Purpose gives us something steady to lean on. And when it’s missing, our mental health often takes the hit.

The Crisis of Purpose

We live in a time of endless distractions and constant busyness. On the surface, our days look full with meetings, errands, social media, and endless to-do lists, but underneath, many people feel restless, disconnected, and unsure why they’re doing any of it.

Our culture often measures worth by productivity and achievement: how much money you make, how successful you appear, how busy you stay. Social media fuels comparison, leaving people believing that everyone else has it all figured out while they feel stuck. And consumer culture tells us the next purchase will finally bring happiness, yet that satisfaction often fades quickly.

This constant cycle of achievement, comparison, and consumption can leave people feeling like their life is full of activity but empty of meaning. In fact, researchers have tied this lack of purpose to higher rates of depression, anxiety, substance use, and what economists call “deaths of despair”—suicides and overdoses driven by hopelessness (Case & Deaton, 2020).

When people don’t know what makes life meaningful for them, it’s easy to fall into apathy, burnout, or despair.

What Do We Mean by “Purpose”?

Purpose doesn’t have to mean a grand mission like saving the world or building a fortune. At its core, purpose is simply a sense of direction, a reason for getting up in the morning that feels meaningful.

Think of purpose as the compass. Goals are destinations—get the degree, run the marathon, buy the house. But those can, and often do, shift over the course of a lifetime. Purpose is what helps us decide which destinations are worth heading toward in the first place.

And purpose can be found in the everyday:

A parent raising kids with love and guidance.
A teacher shaping young lives in the classroom.
An artist creating beauty.
A volunteer showing up for their community.
A neighbor quietly checking in on someone who lives alone.

Living with purpose doesn’t mean every day is easy or fun, it means your actions connect to something that matters to you.

As Viktor Frankl, a psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor, wrote in Man’s Search for Meaning: “Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any ‘how.’” Purpose doesn’t erase suffering, but it gives us a reason to keep going (Frankl, 2006).

How Purpose Supports Mental Health

Purpose isn’t just a nice idea, it has real psychological benefits.

Resilience: A sense of purpose gives us something to lean on when life gets hard. For example, a person going through a job loss may feel devastated. But if they see their larger purpose as providing for their family, or contributing to their community, that sense of direction helps them keep moving forward instead of getting stuck in despair.
Connection: Purpose often ties us to something larger than ourselves. Research shows that people who volunteer regularly have lower rates of depression and higher levels of life satisfaction (Thoits & Hewitt, 2001). Why? Because serving others creates a sense of belonging and meaning.
Fulfillment: Even small daily tasks feel different when they’re aligned with our values. Washing dishes might feel like drudgery until you frame it as part of creating a home filled with care and stability. The task hasn’t changed, but the sense of purpose behind it transforms the experience.

In short, purpose acts like a protective factor. It doesn’t prevent struggle, but it changes the way we move through it.

The Myths About Purpose

Too often, people get stuck because they misunderstand what purpose is supposed to look like, so let’s clear up some common myths.

Myth 1: Purpose has to be huge. Many people believe they’re only living with purpose if they’re doing something world-changing. But the stay-at-home parent nurturing a child, or the retiree mentoring a teenager, are living out profound purpose. These quieter contributions ripple out in ways we can’t always measure.
Myth 2: Purpose is found, not created. People imagine they’ll stumble on their life’s purpose like buried treasure. In reality, purpose often grows out of living in line with our values. For example, someone who values compassion may not know their “life mission,” but by consistently practicing kindness, their sense of purpose becomes clear over time.
Myth 3: You only get one purpose. Your purpose can evolve. A college student might see their purpose as learning and exploration. Years later, their purpose may shift toward raising a family or serving a community. Later in life, it may become mentoring others or creating a legacy. Purpose isn’t a fixed point, it reflects the stage of life you’re in right now.

When we let go of these myths, purpose becomes more accessible and less intimidating.

How to Begin Finding (or Re-Finding) Purpose

If you feel like you’re drifting, here are some simple starting points:

Reflect on your values. Ask yourself: What really matters to me? What do I want to stand for? Try journaling on questions like:
- When have I felt most proud of myself?
- What qualities in others do I admire most?
- If someone described me in three words, what would I want them to be?
Notice moments of aliveness. Pay attention to the activities, people, and places that energize you instead of drain you. Maybe you feel alive while cooking, listening to a friend, or being outdoors. Those moments are clues pointing toward purpose.
Ask, “Whose life is better because I’m here?” Purpose often shows up in the impact we have on others. This doesn’t have to be dramatic. Maybe you’re the person who always makes coworkers laugh, or the neighbor who notices when someone needs help.
Start small. You don’t need a 10-year plan. Purpose grows through small, consistent actions. Try aligning one part of your day—how you greet your partner, how you work, or how you care for yourself—with your deeper values. Small steps build momentum.

Mindfulness and Purpose

This is where mindfulness can be so powerful. In a noisy world, mindfulness helps cut through distractions and expectations, giving us space to listen to what really matters. It shifts us from living reactively to living intentionally.

Mindfulness also helps us notice when we’re living by someone else’s script—chasing what society says we should want—rather than what truly matters to us. That awareness is the first step toward change.

Here’s a simple mindfulness practice you can try:

Sit quietly for a few minutes.
Bring your attention to your breath.
When your mind starts to wander, gently ask yourself: What do I want this season of my life to be about?
Don’t force an answer. Just notice what comes up.

Over time, practicing this kind of reflection strengthens the connection between purpose and daily life.

Final Thoughts: A Life with Purpose

Living with purpose doesn’t mean you’ll always feel certain or have everything figured out. It simply means you’re letting your values guide your steps, rather than drifting aimlessly or letting fear call the shots.

Purpose is not about perfection—it’s about direction.

So maybe start with this question today: What’s one small thing I can do, right now, with intention?

Because without purpose, we struggle. With it, we find strength, meaning, and a clearer path forward.

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About Don

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Don is a highly skilled and experienced professor and counselor with a deep passion for helping others achieve their full potential. With decades of hands-on experience working with thousands of clients, students, and organizations, Don has developed a unique approach to counseling and coaching that is rooted in transformational and empowering conversations. When he's not helping others unlock their full potential, Don can often be found indulging in his passions for bicycling and camping. Based out of the Portland, OR area, Don is dedicated to helping his clients address humanity's most pressing problems and tap into their own inner strengths and resources.