Relaxed Body, Engaged Mind

Think about how many times your body tenses/stiffens throughout the day when faced with unnerving events (e.g., you can’t find your car keys/phone, you just remembered you forgot about a meeting, you’ve just been unexpectedly called into your boss’s office, etc.). When these kinds of things happen, our bodies' first response is to physically tense up. I call this being “activated.” For folks who struggle with anxiety, this can be a constant sensation.

When our bodies are activated, there is a biological response happening; it’s called the stress response. This is our flight-or-fight system doing its job. But there’s something else happening that could be harmful to our bodies, especially if we’re in a constant state of activation, and that is the hormones cortisol and adrenaline begin surging into our bloodstream, affecting every organ in our body, including the brain. There are times when this biological response is advantageous to our overall safety, but when the body doesn’t get a break, when the levels of those hormones never subside - that’s bad.

The long-term activation of the stress response system, which results in too much exposure to cortisol and adrenaline, can disrupt almost all the body's processes, putting us at higher risk for;

• More anxiety

• Higher levels of depression

• Digestive problems

• Headaches

• Muscle tension and pain

• Heart disease, heart attack, high blood pressure and stroke

• Sleep problems

• Weight gain

• Problems with memory and focus

So, for those who are already struggling with depression and anxiety, or are in a constant state of activation, this can definitely make things worse. Much worse. An activated body could also be a response to past trauma. Being triggered dumps those hormones into our bloodstream and into our organs. Which, again, is not helping.

Another part of the stress response is that we start to lose executive function in our brains. Again, this is by biological design. When we actually need to be in flight/fight mode, we really don’t want to spend a lot of time thinking about anything other than, well, fighting or running away as fast as we can. Which makes a lot of sense if we’re faced with a real physical danger. But more often than not, we’re not faced with a real physical danger, yet our bodies are still responding as if we were.

The goal in these cases is to strive for a relaxed body with an engaged mind in the face of what is causing the activation. For those who are into sports such as basketball or baseball/softball, we see a technique being used all the time. As the batter steps to the plate or the basketball player steps to the free throw line, they take a deep breath or two and then blow it out. Why? They are relaxing their bodies so their minds can be completely focused on the task at hand - hitting a pitch or making the free throw. Relaxed body, engaged mind. This is what we need to learn to do when confronted with the things that are kickstarting our stress response system.

The first step is to become aware of our bodies in such a way that we immediately notice when we start to tense up. At the first sign of this, we want to take a minute and focus on relaxation and interrupt the cycle. When we need to quickly relax our body during moments of intense anxiety or stress, we might want to try these rapid relaxation techniques. Depending on the circumstance, some will be better options than others:

1. Deep Breathing: Take a few deep breaths in and out. Inhale slowly through your nose for a count of four, hold your breath for a count of four, and then exhale slowly through your mouth for a count of four. Focus on your breath to bring your attention away from the source of anxiety.

   
   

2. Deep, Deep Breaths: I use this one when I don’t have much time (e.g. I need to respond now!) Take two inhales (the second one comes from deep in my belly) and one long exhale. This reduces our CO2 levels, slows our heart rate, and leaves us feeling calmer, less tense, and more focused (think of the professional athlete).

   
   

3. Grounding Technique - 5-4-3-2-1: Ground yourself in the present moment by focusing on your senses. Acknowledge 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste. This helps us reconnect with your immediate surroundings.

   
   

4. Body Scan: Mentally scan your body from head to toe, paying attention to any areas of tension. As you identify tense areas, consciously relax those muscles, combined with deep breathing.

   
   

5. Counting: Counting can be a simple yet effective technique. Count slowly to 10 or 100 in your mind. If your mind starts to wander, gently bring your focus back to counting.

   
   

6. Calming Affirmations: Repeat a calming phrase or affirmation to yourself. Phrases like "I am safe," "This too shall pass," or "I can handle this" can provide reassurance and help calm your body. I use this one a lot.

   
   

7. Quick Body Exercises: Do a quick physical activity like shaking out your hands and arms, stretching your neck, or rolling your shoulders. Physical movement can help release tension. And, if we’re activated to the point that adrenaline is in our system, we need to do some type of physical activity to release it.

   
   

8. Visualize a Safe Place: Close your eyes and imagine a place where you feel safe and calm. Visualize the details of this place, including colors, textures, and sounds. Engaging your imagination in this way can help you escape momentarily from your anxiety. It’s best if we’ve already visualized the safe place; it helps us get there quickly.

   
   

9. Use Relaxation Apps or Videos: There are numerous apps and online videos designed to help with quick relaxation. These resources often provide guided breathing exercises, calming visuals, and soothing sounds.

Regardless of which one works best for you, it takes practice. Practicing on the “little” things will help train us to relax our bodies when we’re confronted with the “big” things. If you’re working with a counselor, coach, or therapist, talk to them about incorporating some of these techniques into your sessions. The idea is that we can learn and practice these techniques in the company of a professional, where they can support us as we learn this new skill. Then, once we’ve mastered the techniques in the presence of a supportive person, it’s time to practice them in our own day-to-day lives. The key here is practice. Like anything, it takes time. Don’t be hard on yourself when it doesn’t work for you, this will only lead to negative self-talk and defeatism.

Remember, finding what technique works best for you might require some trial and error, so don’t get frustrated. Most importantly, it's helpful to practice these techniques when you're not feeling anxious so you can employ them more effectively and quickly in times of actual stress.

When we’re able to control our bodies' response, we will prevent needless suffering, both mentally and physically.

Photo by nurse: https://www.pexels.com/photo/woman-in-headscarf-reading-book-by-tree-18549580/