The Way to Get "Unstuck": Start Doing What You Say You're Going to Do

We’ve all been there. Staring at a to-do list that seems to mock us, promising ourselves that this time we’ll stick to our plans. But then, the excuses roll in. “I’ll start tomorrow.” “I’m just not ready yet.” Before we know it, days, weeks, or even years have passed, and we’re still stuck in the same patterns. If this feels familiar, you’re not alone.

The key to getting "unstuck" in life is surprisingly simple: start doing what you say you’re going to do. Sounds straightforward, doesn’t it? Yet, for many of us, the gap between intention and action feels like a chasm.

Let’s explore why this happens, how mindfulness can help, and why the first step toward transformation is to stop lying to yourself—gently, but firmly.

Why We Get Stuck in the First Place

Before diving into solutions, it’s important to understand why we get stuck. Often, it’s not because we’re lazy or incapable. Instead, it’s because:

• Fear of failure: We’re afraid we’ll try and fall short, so we avoid trying at all.

  
  

• Perfectionism: If we can’t do it perfectly, we’d rather not do it at all.

  
  

• Overwhelm: Big goals can feel insurmountable, making it hard to even start.

  
  

• Negative self-talk: Telling ourselves we’re not good enough becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

These mental roadblocks create a cycle of inaction. We set a goal, fail to follow through, and then beat ourselves up—making it even harder to take the next step.

The Problem with Not Following Through

When you consistently fail to do what you say you’re going to do, you’re not just breaking promises to yourself. You’re eroding your self-trust. Over time, this creates a mental narrative of, “I’m someone who doesn’t follow through.” That belief can be deeply limiting, affecting not just your habits but your overall sense of self-worth.

But there’s hope. The first step toward breaking this cycle is to confront the truth: when you don’t follow through, you’re lying to yourself.

This isn’t about judgment or self-criticism. It’s about radical honesty. By acknowledging the ways you’ve let yourself down, you create space to change.

Stop Lying to Yourself: The Foundation of Change

Radical honesty starts with recognizing that your words carry power. Every time you tell yourself, “I’ll do this tomorrow” and don’t, you’re teaching yourself that your commitments don’t matter. Over time, this erodes your confidence and motivation.

To turn this around, you need to:

1. Set realistic goals: Don’t promise to meditate for an hour every day if you’ve never meditated before. Start small—five minutes is enough.

   
   

2. Honor your word: If you say you’ll do something, do it. Even if it’s inconvenient. Even if it’s uncomfortable.

   
   

3. Be specific: Vague goals like “get healthy” are hard to act on. Instead, say, “I’ll go for a 10-minute walk after dinner.”

   
   

4. Track your progress: Celebrate small wins. Each time you follow through, you’re reinforcing a new, positive narrative: “I’m someone who keeps promises to myself.”

The Role of Mindfulness in Getting Unstuck

Here’s where mindfulness comes in. When you’re stuck, it’s easy to get caught up in a storm of negative thoughts and emotions. Mindfulness helps you step back, observe those thoughts without judgment, and create the mental space needed to take action.

Here’s how mindfulness can help you follow through:

1. Awareness of excuses: Mindfulness teaches you to notice when your mind is making excuses. Instead of getting swept up in, “I’ll do it later,” you can pause and ask, “Is this true? What’s stopping me from doing it now?”

   
   

2. Emotional regulation: When you don’t meet your goals, it’s easy to spiral into self-criticism. Mindfulness helps you respond with compassion instead of harsh judgment. This makes it easier to get back on track.

   
   

3. Focus on the present: Often, we procrastinate because we’re overwhelmed by the big picture. Mindfulness helps you break tasks into manageable steps, focusing on what you can do right now.

   
   

4. Building self-trust: Each time you follow through on a commitment, mindfulness encourages you to savor that success, reinforcing your belief in your ability to change.

How to Use Mindfulness to Start Doing What You Say You’re Going to Do

1. Start with a Mindful Pause

Before diving into a task, take a moment to pause. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and ask yourself: “What’s the next small step I can take to move forward?” This simple practice helps cut through overwhelm and brings clarity.

2. Practice Non-Judgmental Awareness

When you catch yourself avoiding a task, don’t judge yourself. Instead, observe your thoughts with curiosity. For example, you might notice, “I’m feeling resistance because I’m afraid of failing.” Naming your emotions can help reduce their intensity.

3. Use Visualization

Visualize yourself completing the task and how you’ll feel afterward. This can create a sense of motivation and make the task feel less daunting.

4. Create a Mindful Routine

Incorporate mindfulness into your daily habits. For example, if you’ve committed to exercising, treat it as a mindfulness practice. Pay attention to your breath, body, and surroundings as you move.

5. Reflect and Adjust

At the end of each day, take a few minutes to reflect on what you accomplished. Celebrate your wins, no matter how small, and gently assess where you fell short. Use this information to adjust your approach for tomorrow.

Compassion Over Criticism: When You Don’t Follow Through

It’s inevitable that you’ll slip up from time to time. When this happens, resist the urge to beat yourself up. Instead, treat yourself with the same kindness you’d offer a friend.

Ask yourself:

• “What got in the way today?”

  
  

• “What can I learn from this?”

  
  

• “How can I set myself up for success tomorrow?”

Self-compassion isn’t about letting yourself off the hook. It’s about creating a supportive inner environment that makes it easier to try again.

The Ripple Effect of Keeping Promises to Yourself

When you start doing what you say you’re going to do, the effects ripple out into every area of your life. You build self-trust, boost your confidence, and create momentum. Over time, this can lead to significant transformations.

Consider this: If you start by keeping one small promise today—whether it’s drinking more water, meditating for five minutes, or sending that overdue email—where might you be a month from now? A year?

The path to getting unstuck isn’t about grand gestures or massive overhauls. It’s about small, consistent actions. It’s about showing up for yourself every day, even when it’s hard.

Final Thoughts

The way to get "unstuck" in life is deceptively simple: stop lying to yourself and start doing what you say you’re going to do. This isn’t about perfection. It’s about progress. It’s about cultivating mindfulness, practicing self-compassion, and taking small, intentional steps toward the life you want.

The journey to change starts with a single step. What’s one promise you can keep to yourself today? Take it. Honor it. And watch as your life begins to transform, one mindful action at a time.

Photo by MART PRODUCTION: https://www.pexels.com/photo/man-in-black-sweater-sitting-on-bedside-7699438/